- Issue #73 – Give Thanks
- Issue #74 – Bit Part Bad Guys
- Issue #75 – Kaiju for Christmas
- Issue #76 – Silicon Soul, Adamantine Will
- Issue #77 – Date Night
- Issue #78 – Delved Too Deep (Une Mascarade Brisée Part 1)
- Issue #79 – Tome of Secrets (Une Mascarade Brisée Part 2)
- Descendants Special #7 – The Curtain Rises
- Issue #80 – Bitter Work
- Issue #81 – Kin, Speed and Ducks
- Issue #82 – What To Do With Your Downtime
- Issue #83 – Avalon Rises
- Issue #84 – Darkness Falling
- Descendants Annual #7 – First Frost
Date Night (Part 5)
The doorbell caught Alexis off guard just minutes after she’d just finished getting ready for her big date with Ian.
She could only imagine a small handful of people who would drop in without calling first and not many of them were people she especially wanted to greet at the door decked out for a night on the town. She wore a full-length, dark green dress that flared out at the bottom and was trimmed with dark blue and gold lace, along with a black ribbon choker with an emerald at her throat that was, in reality, her D-icon and a new pair of strappy heels. For the first time in a while, her hair was long enough to let hang loose, so she did, letting it fall to brush her shoulders. After some waffling over whether or not to put in contacts, she’d just gone with her usual glasses—Ian seemed to like them anyway.
Speaking of Ian, the doorbell rang a second and third time and he didn’t seem to be in evidence to answer it, so Alexis finally took it upon herself. Remembering the new potential threats that knew where they lived, she checked out the peephole first, and saw… Ian.
“Why are you…” the words faded completely out of her mind as she opened the door and took in the earnest expression on the face of the man she loved and the bouquet in his hands. A smile played on her lips, both touched and incredulous. “You’re picking me up for our date?”
He gave a one shoulder shrug. “We lived together before we even started dating. Back when we were at the Academy, I might have had this dumb little fantasy about calling on you and… Indulge me?”
“You know, the guys I dated back then more or less ‘called on me’ with ‘sup, babe? Ya ready’?” Alexis said with a laugh.
“Would it help if I did that?”
“I’d rather you didn’t, actually. This is kind of nice though.”
Ian smiled and offered up the flowers. “Then these are for you.”
“I wasn’t going to get them if I gave you a hard time, I take it?” she asked, accepting them. She stepped back to let hm enter.”
“Maybe, maybe not.” teased Ian, stepping into the downstairs commons. He had on a new suit; navy with a white silk lining—his father’s Christmas gift to him. The ridiculously expensive watch on his wrist was his brothers, along with the implied gloating over how much money Issac was making.
Alexis looked about for something to putt he flowers in and noticed a vase that had the old silk poinsettias left over from Christmas. She set about exchanging fake flowers for real. “I’d offer to introduce you to my family, but they’re a thousand miles away, and my roommate is still AWOL.”
“Oh sure, give me a hard time after you get the flowers. Same old Alex.” Ian strolled over to the pool table and picked up the cue ball left atop it. “So: Laurel’s been out all day, Cyn never reappeared for lunch… They’re up to something aren’t they?”
“Oh yeah.” agreed Alexis. “And we’re locked out of the loop on it because they probably don’t want to ruin our date.”
Ian summoned a tiny cyclone to lift the ball into the air over his palm. “You know, I’d expect this from Cyn, but Laurel knows we’re not dumb enough to completely miss this little coincidence.”
Having finished transferring the bouquet, Alexis set the silk flowers aside on the coffee table. “But she might think we’re dumb enough to call things off over a Descendants matter. Face it: I’m petty serious about this kind of thing, and you’ve never been happier than after we started this.”
Ian let the cue ball hit the velvet table top with the thump.
“Don’t argue.” She said with a nonchalant wave of her hand. “Remember that if it wasn’t for the whole sequence of events that led to us becoming prelates, we never would have gotten together.” She gave him a curious look. “Unless there was something else you’ve never been happier about.”
A Cheshire grin broke out on his face. “Well there was the time we got invited to go on board the Storm Cage, but that went downhill. I guess I’m forced to agree that being engaged to the girl I loved since high school might be the thing I’m most happy about, yeah.”
He went over to her and put an arm around her, drawing her close for a simple peck on the lips—so as not to ruin her make-up. “So… just this once, we’ll let them think they pulled one over on us?”
“Of course.” she replied, returning the kiss with a little less care. “If it was something dire, they wouldn’t keep up in the dark. I’m sure it’s something minor.”
***
“A suspected hypercog serial killer has more than likely set his sights on a school function where there’s an even chance that he plans to murder a teenaged girl in front of her parents and classmates in a traumatic manner, or murder her father in front of her and her friends in the same—with a high possibility of collateral damage.” Detective Rodgers said flatly into the phone. “There is no way MPD is going to skimp on the security.”
“It’s not a matter of manpower assigned, it’s a matter of deployment.” Codex replied on the other end of the line. “It’s very important that you deploy in such a way as not to suggest anything odd is going on.”
The detective let out a small groan. “I know I’m your police liaison, but that doesn’t give me any special authority. Best I can do is pass it up the chain of command. And frankly, I’m not in agreement with it my own self. This isn’t a movie: you can’t just tell me you have a plan, then not fill me in and expect me to go along.”
“Detective, I absolutely agree with you on this matter. In any other situation, this conversation wouldn’t be happening, and I can assure you it’s unlikely to repeat.” Codex’s voice was even but emphatic. “However, as you’ve noted, the FBI suspects Joykiller is a hypercog. That means he’ll be able to adapt his strategy based on what he observes of the situation. An unorthodox change to the police’s security procedures will give him information he can use to not only allude capture, but to achieve his objectives.”
A moment went by as Detective Rodgers weighted and measured the logic. Even when it passed the smell test, she still didn’t like it any better. “I’ll pass it up the chain, but I’m not going to advocate for it.” she finally said.
“That’s all I require. Thank you, Detective.”
***
For the second time in two days, Alloy found himself plopped down in a computer chair, facing a console. This time, he was alone—if one didn’t count the comms.
“Looks like the MPD is keeping to their standard deployment.” Codex informed him. “The show’s all yours.”
“I wish you wouldn’t put it like that…”
Codex chuckled despite the tension. “Why not? This is your plan. You seemed both confident and eager last night.”
Warrick studied the camera feeds in front of him, hoping to catch a green mask on one of them. That way, he could go kick Joykiller’s ask and not have to go through with his bright idea. “I’m just suddenly in here thinking… maybe I bit off more than I can chew. Maybe I let how much I hate that guy go to my head.”
“I think we all have a pretty healthy dislike for what he’s done.”
“Yeah, but I hate what he hasn’t.” Warrick said. “Guy like that… he’s a genius like you. Hell, look at what you’ve done: the Institute, Descendants Rights Worldwide, Life savers, Inc… This bastard could do just as much, make the world a better damn place.
“Hell, he could do nothing and I wouldn’t fault him that much, but the crazy bastard is trying to use all his smarts to screw it all up. Make it worse. It’s not even about greed, it’s about him being an asshole. I wanna hurt him.”
“He isn’t the kind enemy that’s going to put himself into a situation to go head-to-head physically.” said Codex.
Now it was Alloy who laughed It was edged with spike. “Nah, as much as I’d love to punch him in the face, that’s not what I’m after. This guy; I wanna hurt his pride. Make him feel like a dumbass. He wouldn’t care about a bruise, but this…” he considered his plan, his careful take-down, and grinned. “This is gonna sting.”
“Normally, I’d be worried hearing this level of vindictiveness from you.” Codex observed, “But given the circumstances, I think I know where you’re coming from—especially with the little production you cut together. Remind me to pass this idea along to Sanctum Comics. Their writers will be excited to hear about the first time a supervillain was taken down by humiliation.”
This got another, more genuine laugh from the young man. “That would be pretty cool. Thanks for trusting me with this by the way.”
“You’re a lot smarter than you think, Warrick. This plan is just more proof of it—it never even occurred to me to present it like this.”
“Yeah… well we’ll see how smart I am when this is over. Checking in.” He started to cycle through his comms. “Vamanos?”
There was a moment where the connection was overwhelmed by light panting before Vamanos got it back under control. “Everything’s a go on my end. Sorry if I’m… yeah, I never moved so much in such a little time.”
“I would have had someone help you, but…”
“I’m the only one that can move that fast. No problem.”
“Great, get something to drink and stand by. If things go right, your part is done.” He signed off with her and switched again. “Ephemeral?”
“In place and ready.” said Ephemeral. “Just in case, I’m scanning the crowd. If Joykiller is wearing something to block me, I might be able to pick out the absence of ambient thought.”
Alloy nodded, grateful that his friend thought of that. “Good idea. Let me know if someone pings, or if you spot someone taking unusual interest in you.”
“That I will.”
Again, Alloy switched comms, this time to Occult. “Occult, everything up and running”
“It’s running.” came the dubious reply. “It’s incredibly complicated, it’s mind-bending to even look at from where I’m standing, but… it’s running. I’ve got to wonder why someone even designed this spell, because I’m pretty sure scrying spells weren’t meant to be used like this.”
“I’m just glad someone did. Codex was right on that one: he might see through an illusion.” said Alloy.
“It’s not a computer program, so it’s not going to compensate for anything out of the ordinary.” she warned.
Again, Alloy nodded, looking up afterward to check on the video he had ready. “Don’t worry, he’s going to be way too distracted to notice the little stuff.”
With that, he switched over, continuing his check-ins.
***
The man called Joykiller strolled up to the school building, anonymous among all of the families arriving for the band concert. He pretended to have a loud, obnoxious cell phone conversation while they waited to be let in. This kept most people a respectable distance away from hm and gave him an excuse to hang back and observe.
There were MPD officers working the doors instead of the usual school security or volunteers. Someone guessed correctly about where he’d be focusing his attentions, though he doubted they understand the fullness of his plans.
Pretending to sigh in exasperation, he cast his eyes upward.
Oh yes. He spotted a figure on the roof. From the hood, he surmised it was Zero. The FBI had alerted the MPD to what they suspected of him and the MPD predictably ran right to their super-powered saviors. As disappointing as it was expected.
He respected the fact that some people were born inherently superior. That made sense. Life was unfair and some people got nothing while others got abilities that meant they could decide who lived and who died. He especially loved Columbia, where the inevitable result of such a world had taken place: those with powers rule those who didn’t.
That was how humanity worked. Was supposed to work. The strong preyed on the weak. Everyone, whether literally or spiritually suffered. Suffering created by man to visit unto man. Perfection.
He even liked the word ‘prelate’. The connotations practically screamed of subjugation.
What he couldn’t stomach, however, were superheroes. They made no sense: the powerful protecting and inspiring the weak, ending suffering. Altruism was a sham and a lie and ‘superheroes’ were the popular embodiment of that most baneful and unnatural attitude.
Kill your heroes.
Good advice. The question was one of tactics. Intellect could do little against brute strength and numbers.
The crowd started moving as the cops started letting them in through a set of security checkpoints.
How quaint: they were using scanners and metal detectors. As if any criminal with even the slightest shred of common sense used metal in or around Mayfield. That’s what took him so long coming to Mayfield: it took months to modify all of his tech to operate properly without metal components.
When it was his turn, he pretended to put the person he was ‘talking’ to on hold and presented his palmtop for an identity scan. His alias for the night was the uncle of one of the band kids. The cop, to his credit, double checked from two different lists before waving him in.
Once inside, he noticed someone out of place immediately. The gold and red costume with the flowing script on his chest gave Ephemeral away right off the bat, but no one else was reacting to him.
Joykiller let his gaze slide off the hero without making it clear he was avoiding him. His data on the man was limited, but he deducted Ephemeral to be a mentalist. The psychic disguise wasn’t a trick he expected, but that made sense in a way: it wouldn’t have shown up on a video camera anyway.
Pretending to wait for a couple reading the sign set up on the atrium, he observed Ephemeral slowly scanning the room with his eyes. Likely disguised as another police officer, he guessed. And using his post to mentally scan for either malicious thoughts…
Or nothing at all.
In Joykiller’s estimation, the chaotic nature of a person’s surface thoughts precluded getting anything valuable for anything resembling the type of ‘quick scan’ depicted in fiction. If Ephemeral was scanning, it was more likely that he’d be looking for anomalies like the kind of null reading someone using a theta damper to evade detection.
Joykiller had no intention of opening himself up, no matter how briefly, to psychic attack, so he prepared something just for that occasion.
The ability to record theta wave emission patterns had been around for years, ever since the discovery of the Astral Plane. Playing it back was something that, for other people, was still in the theoretical stage. For his mind however, it was a puzzle easily remedied with a few months of R&D.
A tap of his palmtop’s screen switched on his psychic chaff emitter, filling the headspace his damper left vacant with thoughts he prerecorded on the occasion that he come face-to-face with Ephemeral.
It was a mix of generic thoughts on music and the band performance and more specific familial thoughts custom made from what he culled from the Quintessence pages belonging to the boy his alias was supposedly here to see and his family.
Safely shielded from the mentalist’s scrutiny, he looked over the sign once the couple moved on.
‘MIDDLE HALL CLOSED FOR REPAIR. PLEASE REACH AUDITORIUM THROUGH D HALL. FOLLOW THE ARROWS’.
He did as the sign directed, keeping any eye out for any more signs of activity from the Descendants. The shapeshifter would be posing as Raquel Romero no doubt. Nice try.
When he’d been at the school earlier in the week, preparing the auditorium for his master stroke, he’d mentally mapped the entire school. There was no damage to the middle hall. The ‘heroes’ were funneling him or trying to keep him out of the middle hall for some reason.
As if that would help them.
Kill your heroes.
Easier said than done if one were thinking literally. Luckily, he wasn’t. He was going to kill them spiritually. ‘Superheroes’ saved the day. That was the mythos. They might lose one or two people… but what would happen if they lost everyone?
A hard smile touched his lips as he entered the auditorium and slipped into a seat far back. “Show time.” He muttered.
***
From his place in the auditorium’s projection booth, Alloy saw his quarry slump into a seat in the back. Some tech he was using was obscuring his face, but just the fact that he was obscured made him obvious.
“Alright you bastard.” Alloy growled. “It’s showtime.” he tapped some last minute controls and lowered the screen above the stage.
The projector came online, displaying the video’s title.
The one of the special
*Then one or
*And one
so had he Academy
*so had the Academy
you plans
*your plans
Oh wow Joykiller? Such a horrible, depressing tool. There’s too much hope in the world? I hate him already.
I’m quite happy to see he earned this kind of reaction within 4 hours of his debut. 🙂
Seriously, he is awful.
From his monologue, he sounds like a cynic determined to prove that the world works as he believes, or something. Although I do find myself wondering if the melodrama could be a cover for either: 1) A personal gripe against the woman in question or 2) Jealousy over her financial good fortune. Maybe there’s some plan that he intends to end with him getting a slice of the cash? Hmm.
Also, he’s a jerk and I hope he fails to escape his comeuppance.
So many things I want to say and so many spoilers I would reveal.
Next update is going to come with a commentary because Joykiller is part of a new batch of villains I cooked up and I put a lot of thought behind each.
Well, he certainly lives up to his name…
Action typowatch six:
the her usual routine
->her usual routine
The one of the special hard rooms
->The special hard room OR One of the special hard rooms
(Depending on what you meant)
the Descendants do that week
“do”->”did”
other teachers or staff member
“staff member”->”staff members”
the student who had their powers session right before lunch that day had taken a day of classes sick,
This is kind of awkward; maybe just “had taken a sick day” or something?
Cree, however was looking promising,
Need comma after “however”
psionics fighting leagues
Probably “psionics”->”psionic”
As a rule, her door was always open unless she was with a student to encourage them to come in and talk with her if need be.
Awkward sentence. Maybe: “As a rule, she maintained an open door policy for students to encourage them to come talk to her if need be, unless she had a specific appointment.”
with both hand behind
“hand”->”hands”
reservations of Bleu Bleu Chef
“of”->”for” OR “at”
Bleu Bleu is pretty us scale
“us scale”->”upscale”
Once it was in place, he turned switched the cameras in the palmtop from the forward-facing view, to one facing him.
Remove either “turned” or “switched”, “cameras” seems like it should probably be singular.
We need to get you a TypoWatch6 logo.
Cue the dramatic high note and freeze to a group shot of everyone looking shocked and terrified. Slow fade to black and roll credits in silence. Can’t play the usual merry tune on a shock reveal like that.
Anticlimatic Scene Breaks of History!
Chapter 4 actually ends on a genuine cliffhanger.
The promised commentary:
I’ve wanted to create some more recurring non-Big Bad villains for the series and Joykiller is the first of those. Obviously, his concept is sort of an anti-Joker. Despite the direction his first plotline goes, his eventual intended nemesis is going to have very little to do this time. His portion of the plot is all set-up to give him his hate-on for her.
I actually had to rewrite the litany of his crimes here because one of them involved engineering a bus accident that killed members of a high school football team on its way to the finals of its Cinderella season, but in the middle of putting that to paper, there was an actual bus accident that killed underprivileged teens being taken to visit a college. Too soon and too close, so I backed off that one.
This guy though… I love most of my villains on some level, but I HATE this guy. It’s something about how he really doesn’t even have a genuine motivation. He thinks he’s serving ‘reality’, but he’s really just a bastard who can’t accept that good things sometimes happen to good people.
And then in 79, we’ll have Glitter, who I may or may not have created to wash the taste of this pantload of a man out of my mouth.
Action Typowatch 6:
Warrick said from a control console
“said”->”asked”
Don’t even know how
Missing “I”
He frankly, couldn’t blame her.
Either add comma after “He” or delete comma after “frankly”
to financial damage to charities
“to”->”to cause” ?
like they one I showed you
“they”->”the”
but more than one copycat so far
Missing verb. Maybe “has produced”?
he’s in out weight class.
“out”->”our”
Also a note for “Joykiller”; that’s not a word, and you’re a jerk. The secret word and grammar police are coming for you.
There’s an actual good reason for that: There’s a real life band called Joy Killer. Plus, since he posts on the web, it’s easier for HIM to make it all one word as some sites don’t like spaces in SNs.
That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for passing it on.
An ode to Joykiller:
Joykiller, Joykiller,
Play, game, and toy killer
Sucking the fun out of a life well-lived
For number one you look out, others you shiv
Joykiller, Joykiller
Daughter, friend, and boy killer
Is there anything beneath you?
Any depth that you won’t sink to?
You hurt them loved ones through
And target those who do
Good deeds for others
You’ve never discovered
That your view’s all hollow
Now sickos will follow
The carnage you leave in your wake
I hope you’re stopped cold, for everyone’s sake
Joykiller, Joykiller,
Cat, dog, and Koi-killer?
Let’s be honest, you’ve slaughtered pets
And probably done worse to them, how sick did you get?
You’re one nasty piece of work
Though I confess you don’t shirk
You don’t rest on your laurels
Adminis’tring poisons oral
Instead you are seeking
New victims who’re peaking
In your quest to bring them low
How far will you go?
Joykiller, Joykiller,
You’re a jerk who doesn’t deserve a good rhyme scheme.
So there.
‘Koi-killer?’ made me laugh for so very, very long.
I can just imagine him poisoning someone’s fish for no good reason. Possibly because they’re pretty, or bringing joy to them, or something. Heck, I could see this guy running around hunting down endangered species. His mandate is pretty broad.
It is kind of fun to force a rhyme scheme sometimes, though.
Yeah, I can see him making breeding pairs o rare animals infertile and stuff. He’s… seriously he’s terrible.
“she’s has been coming o
She’s been
the laughter her was holding
he
pushing you buttons
your
on top to her head
of her
‘antennae’ if hair
of
can life with
live
That okay with you.
you?
on equal terms amounted
terms,
leading at team
a
You helped use against
us
I’ve be the best
I’d
enormity of she he’d just
of what she’d
Well we’re born
Well,
Callie too a seat
took
and it’s pretty easy
but it’s?
to noticed that
notice
really want to be
wants
a laugh in cause
caused
You can really tell which chapters I write from the couch with the keyboard set to long range, can’t you?
There ought to be a space in ‘per se’. It’s kind of noticeable to me since ‘perse’ is Finnish for arse.
As to ISP and OSP acronyms, it’s Internet Service Provider and Online Service Provider, of course. It’s a matching set even.
Huh. The spellcheck on Open Office said that was right. Apparently it wanted me to say ass a lot.
As to the acronyms, nicely done, especially since I now notice that they’ve been playing online all issue. Speaking of which, yes, they have their own accounts on various websites. all their screen names and passwords are metal puns in l337.
Have we ever seen the twins talk to someone other than Warrick? It’s not like they haven’t amply demonstrated they understand English and know how to write.
We haven’t mostly because I haven’t decided on a voice for them. I’m never quite sure how smart they ought to be.
I thought about this for a moment, and ended up with Isp sounding like Bugs Bunny and Osp sounding like James Earl Jones. Now I can’t seem to shake the idea of them sounding like that.
In retrospect I should not have thought about it.
‘In retrospect I should note have thought about it.’
Welcome to my world! Want some more: The implications of Tink possibly getting pregnant while having the nanites, knowing how they work.
Okay, I’m gonna be that guy and ask… why is Warrick the best person to tell Callie? Also, I hate the cut off for this. I guess it makes sense because he’d have to explain the books and magic and all that and that’s stuff we already know, but I wanted to see more of the scene.
Also also, in this sentance: “You do take our position as the city’s protectors more than anyone.” was the word seriously supposed to be in between the “more” and the “than?”
That’s a perfectly valid question. In my opinion, he’s the best for this situation because 1) he’s a peer to Callie unlike Laurel, who would normally be the best for this, 2) he’s the most enthusiastic about the team and likely would present the team’s history in the best light while still being honest, and 3) he isn’t Kareem, which is important because she knows Ephemeral is a mentalist and might think she’s being manipulated.
I probably should have had that conversation on-screen, but there would have been other things in it that couldn’t be shown. I got a little ‘closed mystery’-happy with this because I’m hiding some stuff on purpose for the reveal.
Also, this is the last big Warrick story for a while, so I’m trying to give him as many awesome points as possible (78 is Laurel, 79 is Kareem, 80 is Ian and Alexis).
Funny that you should mention the ending. I cut about a page of Callie’s wrong guesses because it was getting monotonous and there was so much for her to react to, it threatened ot make this thing a two-parter. This is prime fodder for a Lost Tales… chapter for the next 5th Wednesday. You’ll see Wednesday and when 78 hits why I couldn’t do it THIS Wednesday.
On the bright side, Callie really doesn’t seem like the sort of person to get all bent out of shape over the past secrecy; she’s more the type who will be flattered to be let in on the secret now. It’s probably also nice for her to get some positive reinforcement from one of the original Descendants as she’s joining up. I’m very much looking forward to seeing how she interacts with all of the team members both in-costume and out in the wake of this revelation. Should be fun.
his best ‘completely innocent smile
innocent’
a styrofoam contained
container
that started the push
to push
Am I the only person who’s lost the previous/next buttons?
It should be below my little author box thing.
I see a button to go back to Tome: On the Green at the bottom left of the entire page, but nothing else. Not sure what exactly Kazorh meant, though.
I meant that I don’t see any buttons to navigate from chapter to chapter.
And the only thing I see between the comments and the author box is “Posted by Vaal at 12:01 am”
Huh. I’ll look into it. Is it like that for every page or just the new ones?
Every one.
Though, as Curious George mentions, there are links at the very bottom of the page, but those are in order of publication on the website, so you also get Rune Breaker, SIMaS, etc.
Speaking of SIMaS, you might want to add it to the Other Stories page.
And change the Wednesday schedule on the home page to show Malady Place. Preferably after putting SIMaS in the Other Stories page, because as far as I know the home page has the only link to SIMaS.
(Triple post for the win! Look at me not thinking about whether or not I have other stuff to say before clicking on Submit!)
Okay, I see the problem now: the ‘story’ category is taking precedence over ‘Uncollected’. I do not know how to fix, that, but the Chapter box should be back by the end of the week.
SiMaS and Malady Place stuff should be fixed first thing when I get up tomorrow.
Still not seeing the Chapter box.
just minutes after she’d just finished getting
twice the just is a bit much
let hm enter.”
him
enter.
was his brothers
brother’s
to putt he flowers
put the
not only allude capture
elude
kick Joykiller’s ask
ass
who laughed It
laughed.
edged with spike.
…spike? Not sure what you’re going for.
up and running”
running?”
distance away from hm
him
doubted they understand
understood
with powers rule those
ruled
or spiritually suffered
spiritually,
set up on the atrium
in
reading someone using
reading of
*groan* The cliffhanger, man, the cliffhanger…
You. Are. Too. FAST.
Chapter box was created at 1:05am EST :p
*grin*
I think deduced is the right word rather than deducted where it came up
Now it was Alloy who laughed It was edged with spike.
Should be, IMO,
Now it was Alloy who laughed. It was edged with spite.
Otherwise Kazorh got all the typos I spotted and then some.
Waiting for Alloy’s plan to make first contact with the enemy …
I find this chapter to be just a bit frustrating. It’s all about underlining how everybody’s having plans that aren’t being disclosed to the audience.
If we saw all the plans we’d just know that they wouldn’t work.
Sorry about that. Hopefully it’s one of those things that’s only bad because you have to wait a week for the payoff and it’s not just… bad.
petty serious
should be “pretty serious” I hope.
but he deducted Ephemeral to be a mentalist.
had deduced
showtime.” he tapped
He
He isn’t the kind enemy that’s
kind of enemy (maybe? It could be “a kind enemy” depending on what you’re going for)
make the world a better damn place.
Needs a closing quote mark.
Oh and the “psychic chaff emitter” is both a clever concept and a very cool phrase. And being in Joykiller’s head is really creepy and oddly compelling.
It almost didn’t make the story because I was just going to have a blocker. Then it just hit me that if you can receive a signal, you can record and play it back.
The chapter in which we learn absolutely nothing. (But we do get an interesting insight into the Joykiller.)
Minor correction: Oh way, I know you did because Codex texted me.
My guess is that this was supposed to be oh wait, but it could b something else. Or it could be right as-is.
Also, I knew there was something off with Warrick cursing in front of kids. And the plan? Absolutely brilliant. Sometimes, Alloy is just the bomb diggety.
Yup, that’s what it’s supposed to be.
Glad you liked the plan AND caught one of the tells.
Just… one… thing… A hypercog using the same keys for everything? Oh come on, even normal people aren’t supposed to do that and at least we mere humans have the excuse of having trouble remembering! A hypercog basically has no excuse for not using one-time pads for everything.
Yeah okay acceptable breaks and artistic license and what the drama calls for and all that, I just hate computer stuff in fiction.
Maybe I used the wrong word, but I’m talking about his encryption scheme, not his passwords. Basically, he has a homebrew encryption that can’t be cracked unless you knew how he was hashing it. It’s also possible that’s also bad security, but I figured Joy Killer is the kind of guy who is arrogant enough to keep using his own software, assuming it was uncrackable.
Mmkay well yeah that sort of hubris does seem to fit the character. It’s also generally a bad idea, the first (and last) thing they teach about creating one’s own encryption schemes is “don’t”. It’ll never be good enough.
Which is what happened here. Fancy that.
‘But I’m a genius!’
On of the things I love about writing Laurel is that she knows the ‘genius’ doens’t mean ‘omniscient’ or ‘infallible’. Even if her friends think it does.
thinks he’s done
–> things
Can I just say this was the perfect ending, not just out-thinking the arrogant SOB, but also showing him all the good his actions caused, perfect.
Thanks 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it!